missing
by alykel
Summary: It was supposed to be a routine negotiation. Nothing dangerous. Yet she didn't return. And there's no sign to be found of her and the team.JohnElizabeth.
1. Chapter 1

He knew he shouldn't have let her go. Well, it was not like he could have done anything to prevent her from going. After all she was the leader of this expedition and therefore in charge. But he could have insisted on going with her. He should have.

He sighed.Maybe there was nothing wrong. Maybe the gate would activate any minute and she'd step through.

But with every minute that passed, this option became less likely. He found himself restlessly pacing the control room. People were starting to look at him. He didn't care. Something was wrong. He could feel it.

Why had he not objected more strongly when she told him he still had to recover from the latest fight he had gotten into off world and that she would take Lorne and his team with her? Carson had released him from the infirmary two days ago and he felt perfectly OK. There was still sometimes a slight pain in his shoulder where the arrow had struck him, but he could handle that.

It was not that he didn't trust Lorne. He was a good man. But still, if something _had _gone wrong - he should have been there himself.

But he was here, in Atlantis, and she and the team that was supposed to protect her were more than two hours overdue. What could possibly have gone wrong? She wanted to negotiate for food, that didn't sound very dangerous, did it?

She had wanted to do this. And he had understood her. Things in the city were running smoothly at the moment and she had said she was looking forward to getting out of the city for a few hours. And there had been no reason to think they would run into any kind of trouble on that planet.

It just wasn't like her to not let them know when something unexpected came up. And it wasn't like Lorne, either. Besides, they had tried to establish radio contact a couple of times, but hadn't been successful so far.

He went over to the guy at the controls.

"Try to radio Dr. Weir's team again."

"But, Sir, we tried five minutes ago..."

"Do it!" John ordered, a lot harsher than he had intended to.

The man shrugged and started pushing a few buttons.

Teyla entered the room. "Any news?" she inquired, a worried expression on her face.

John shook his head. "Nothing so far."

"Sir" the man at the controls looked up "They're still not answering, Sir!"

John turned around to address Teyla.

"That's it! We'll start searching. Get the rest of the team and tell them to be ready in twenty minutes."

Teyla gave him a concerned look. "Are you sure? They are only two hours overdue and the people on that planet are the most peaceful..."

"I don't care!" John cut cut her off "They wouldn't just stay away that long without telling us. We can't even establish radio contact. Something's wrong and we're not just gonna sit here and wait. The sooner we start searching the better!"

Teyla nodded, squeezed his shoulder and left.

He turned around to the gate and glared at it angrily, as though it was the gate's fault that the team hadn't returned when they were supposed to. Then he headed back to his quarters to get ready.

They searched everywhere in the village. They flew a jumper over the area to search for signs. They retraced the steps of each member of the team. And while it was quite easy to determie the places their friends had been, there was no hint of where they'd gone. They seemed to have vanished into thin air. And all the people they questioned either claimed to have never seen them at all or swore they had seen them head back to the gate and go home. Which, apparently, they hadn't done.

They could only have gated to another planet.

In which case, John thought, it would be next to impossible to find them. He knew there was no way to find out which planet they had gated to. And why would they have done so in the first place? The truth was, they wouldn't just have gone somewhere else, without telling anyone. Not willingly. Not without being forced to do so.

This was driving him crazy.There seemed to be _nothing_ he could do, yet he needed to do something! He needed to think. But thinking, worried as he was, seemed to be the last thing he was capable of doing right now.

All he could think about was that he should have been here. In his head he could only see her face, hear her voice. He thought of the many times he had promised himself that he would always protect her. Always be there for her. Never let anything happen to her. And now she was gone. Missing. And although he knew it wasn't really his fault, he started calling himself all kinds of names for ever letting her go without him.

"Hey"

Ronon's voice made him start. He turned his head. "What is it?"

"They're not here."

"Yeah. I've noticed that." he answered.

"Shouldn't we return to Atlantis, in case they come back or try to contact us?" Teyla asked.

John rubbed his face with both hands. He needed to _think_!

"I don't know!" he heard himself say. He looked at Ronon and Teyla, who exchanged a brief look of concern, and then focused on Rodney, who by now also started to look rather worried.

"Are you _sure_ we've looked everywhere? What if we missed something?" He tried to keep the despair out of his voice, but realized himself that he wasn't too successful with hiding it.

"We have searched everywhere." Teyla assured him. "No one knows anything or has seen them since the time they were supposed to return. There is nothing more we can do here."

"I guess you're right." John admitted.He hated the idea of just sitting around in Atlantis, waiting for something to happen.

"Rodney, you're sure you can't find out where they went, IF they used the gate?"

Rodney shook his head. "As I have already told you, there's absolutely no way to tell which address was dialed in last. Believe me, if there was a way to find out, I'd already have done it, don't you think?"

John sighed and looked away.

He knew that everyone was worried and concerned, and that he was practically in charge now. He had to decide what to do next. But suddenly he felt like he couldn't handle this. Not with everything that was on his mind.

Well, there was basically only one thing on his mind. One person. He asked himself whether this was the same kind of thing she was going through everytime someone went missing. He asked himself whether she had ever felt this way about him, when he was in danger. He pushed that thought away and turned back to his team. He had to concentrate on what needed to be done next.

"We're heading back to the village." he informed them "We need the stargate address of every planet these folks have ever been in contact with. The other teams can return to Atlantis."

Eight days. They were gone now for more than one week. And still they had found no sign of them. John and his team had returned to the planet a few times, hoping against hope to find something they had overlooked on their previous visits, or to find someone who could tell them something new. But, of course, they hadn't found anything.

He was sitting in her office, staring at her empty chair, and he felt the despair he had tried to control for so many days finally taking hold of him.

She was gone. He had lost her. Before he had even had the chance to tell her - to tell her what? That was the part he had never really allowed himself to think about. From the day they met he'd known that there was something special about her. He had felt comfortable in her presence. And this feeling had frightened him so much, he had run from it. Into dangerous situations. Into the arms of other women. Just away from her.

Yet he had never been able to escape. He had always returned and sought her company again.

He got up and started pacing her office. He had been so damn stupid. If she would only come back now. He smashed his fist against the doorframe, barely noticing the pain that shot up his wrist.

His mind was just refusing to accept the fact that he could do nothing. He simply had to find a way to find her. To save her. Hell, he didn't even know if she _was_ in any kind of immediate danger. Or, for all he knew, she could as well be dead already. He winced at the thought.

'She is not dead! She is not dead!' he kept repeating that sentence in his mind over and over again.

Oh god, he needed her to be alive, to be OK.

He made his way to the control room. He just stood there, staring at the gate, willing it to activate and bring her back to him, almost disappointed when nothing happened.

There was so much work waiting for him. While she was gone, he was in charge. At least the work might help him take his mind off her. Which was, of course, stupid, since first of all it was her work he was doing, and in addition he constantly kept asking himself how she would have handled things. So that if... _when_ she came back, she'd find everything pretty much unchanged.

Anyway, the work still needed to be done and if there was nothing he could do to rescue her, he could at least run her city the way she would have wanted it.


	2. Chapter 2

Eight days. They were gone now for more than one weeknow. And still there was no sign of them. John had dragged his team back to the planet a few times, though by now they were certain that Elizabeth and the team were no longer there.

They had all the stargate addresses those people knew and were checking every single one of them, but so far they hadn't found a single trace. No one had seen them It was almost as though they had never existed.

He was sitting in her office, staring at her empty chair, and he felt the despair he had tried to control for so many days finally taking hold of him.

She was gone. He had lost her. Before he had even had the chance to tell her...

To tell her what?

That was the part he had never really allowed himself to think about. From the day they met he'd known that there was something special about her. He had wanted to be near her. And that had scared him so much that he had fought this feeling in every way he could think of, until he had almost been able to deny it completely.

He had run from her. Into danger. Into the arms of other women. Just as far away from her as possible.

Yet he had never been able to escape. He had always returned and sought her company again.

He got up and started pacing her office. He had been so damn stupid. If she would only come back now. He smashed his fist against the doorframe, barely noticing the pain that shot up his wrist.

His mind was just refusing to accept the fact that he could do next to nothing. They were already searching everywhere. All other missions had been cancelled, everyone able to walk was out looking for her.

He would probably have led every single search team, had not Dr. Beckett threatened to sedate him and strap him to an infirmary bed if he didn't eat and sleep regularly.

He simply had to find her. To save her. Hell, he didn't even know if she _was_ in any kind of immediate danger. Or, for all he knew, she could as well be dead already. He winced at the thought.

'She is not dead! She is not dead!' he kept repeating that sentence in his mind over and over again.

Oh god, he needed her to be alive, to be OK.

He made his way to the control room. He just stood there, staring at the gate, willing it to activate and bring her back to him, almost disappointed when nothing happened.

There was so much work waiting for him. While she was gone, he was in charge. At least the work might help him take his mind off her. Which was, of course, stupid, since first of all it was her work he was doing, and in addition he constantly kept asking himself how she would have handled things. So that if... no, WHEN she came back, she'd find everything pretty much unchanged.

He went through several reports before he retreated to his quarters late at night to get some sleep. But his thoughts kept him awake for hours and when he finally fell into a light sleep he had nightmares.

In the morning he went to another planet with a search team to question the locals, but they hadn't seen anything, just like all the people they had talked to before.

They returned to the city late in the afternoon and he went straight to his office without saying a word and buried himself under a pile of paperwork again, until some time around midnight Carson came in and told him to go to bed.

He still couldn't sleep. His body was exhausted and he had a terrible headache for several days now, but still his thoughts kept him awake.

In the early morning hours he got up, while the city was still quiet. Everyone was still asleep.

He felt restless and started wandering through the deserted corridors.

He wasn't to surprides when suddenly he found himself outside her quarters. He let himself in and sat down on her bed, taking in the room around him.

It was obvious that she didn't spend too much time here. A sudden warm sensation filled his heart when he thought of the many times he had walked into her office in the morning, finding her asleep at her desk.

Still she had definitely given a personal note to this room. Sitting here he felt nearer to her than ever during the past few days. He could almost feel her presence here. And this feeling almost broke his heart.

----------

The next two weeks brought no news, either.

Most people on Atlantis by now were almost sure they would never see her leader or the team that had been with her again.

But they were all careful not to mention something like that in Colonel Sheppard's presence.

He knew about the worried looks people exchanged behind his back. he didn't talk to anyone and spend every minute he wasn't out there searching alone in his office or his quarters. Or her quarters. Sometimes.

He knew most of them by now thought there was no hope. But he wouldn't give up just now. She had never given up on him either when he was in danger. He couldn't give up. He just couldn't.

He stodd on the balcony. Their balcony. He stared out across the ocean, lost in thought, when suddenly Rodney's voice over the radio made him start.

"Colonel, you may wanna come to the control room. I think I found something."


	3. Chapter 3

Suddenly Rodney's voice over the radio made him start.

"Colonel, you may wanna come to the control room. I think I found something."

He rushed to the control room, people had to jump out of his way, but he didn't even notice.

"What is it?"

Rodney looked up from the console he was bent over. "Colonel. That was fast. We have news concerning our missing team."

John felt his heart beat quicken. After all the weeks, after he had been so close to giving up already, there finally seemed to be hope.

"The gate just activated for a few seconds." Rodney began to explain "and though nobody came through, we i did /i receive an IDC!" he paused and looked at Sheppard, a look of triumph and excitement on his face. "Major Lorne's IDC!"

John tried to calm down and think straight. "You have the address?"

The scientist nodded. "Yes."

"Dial it and try to contact them."

Rodney sighed. "I already did, but they didn't respond. Look, they might not have their radios anymore, who knows what happened with them. We have to consider the possibility that it wasn't even them who sent the IDC. If someone held them hostage, for example..."

"I know!" John cut him off. This was nothing he wanted to think about right now. Thoughts like this had kept him awake every night the past few weeks.

"We'll go there." he looked around. Everyone of his team was present. "Ten minutes." he said and sprinted off towards his own quarters to get ready.

----------

Ten minutes later they were ready to go.

John could barely hide his excitement. Whether Elizabeth and the others were really there or not, whatever they would find on that planet would hopefully tell them something about what had happened or where they could find them.

It would highly increase their chances of finding her ... i them. /i Or rather, for the first time since they had disappeared they would have a real chance of finding them.

While the gate was dialing and he waited with the others, thoughts rushed through his head. He thought of her, of the past few weeks, of how those weeks had made him realize how much he depended on her, needed her. How much he really cared for her. How much she meant to him.

He didn't want to get his hopes up, she might not be there, but he couldn't help it, he was almost sure that in a matter of minutes he would see her again, be near her again. He could almost feel her near him already. There was so much he needed to tell her.

The gate activated and he stepped through.

He stepped out on the other side, his team following him on his heels, and looked around.

He held his breath. A grassy landscape, woods to the right, mountains to the left. And no human being in sight.

No one. There was no one here.

His heart sank. They had received an IDC. About fifteen minutes ago i someone /i had activated the gate from this end, someone who had Lorne's IDC.

Yet there was no one here.

He turned to face Rodney. "Are you i sure /i this is the right planet?" he asked.

Rodney, looking rather disappointed himself, nodded briefly. "Positive!"

"Then what happened? Where are they?" he almost shouted "We need to find them. They must have been here. Search the area."

They searched the area around the gate for some time without finding anything. There were bootprints almost everywhere, but it was impossible to determine whether they were made by their friends. And there were so many of them all over the area that even if their's were among them, it was impossible to tell where they had gone. If they had ever been here at all.

They didn't talk much during their search. None of them felt in the mood for talking. John simply was hanging on to his own thoughts and the others partly didn't want to upset him further with anything they said and partly were too worried to say much, themselves. They had all liked Dr. Weir and Major Lorne and his team also.

They were just about to extend their search to the forest, when suddenly a person stepped out from between the trees. It was a woman with long brown hair and rather earth like clothes. When she saw them, she jerked to a stop and seemed to make up her mind whether to run back into the forest or to approach them.

John and Teyla exchanged a look. Talking to locals was rather Teyla's area of expertise. She took a step forward and opened her mouth, but the woman spoke before she could say amything.

"Who are you?"

"We came through the stargate." Teyla replied "We are searching for some friends who went missing a while ago. We have reason to believe that they might have been here earlier today. If you have seen them, it would be of great help to us if you told us where they went."

The woman looked at them thoughtfully and said "I think you should talk to Arlon. Follow me."

She led them straight through the forest for about fifteen minutes before they stepped out into what appeared to be some kind of small town.They walked down a few streets, around a few corners, before she stoped outside a big red building, some kind of town hall, apparently.

"Wait outside." she instructed them and disappeared into the building.

After a few moments she came back. "You may come inside now." she informed them and they followed her down a corridor into some kind of office, where an elderly man was sitting behind a massive desk.

"Welcome." he greeted them as they entered the room. "My name is Arlon. I understand you are looking for some friends of yours."

"Yes." again, it was Teyla who spoke "If you could help us..."

"Maybe you can describe them to me. We have lots of visitors from lots of different worlds here every day." the old man said.

John nodded. "Actually, we have pictures." he said, and pulling them from his pocket handed them over to the man.

Arlon looked at the photographs of Elizabeth, Major Lorne and the other team members thoughtfully for a while, before looking up to them again, a regretful expression on his face. "Your friends have indeed been here." he confirmed

"Well, that's good!" John said.

"I'm afraid not." Arlon replied "They were killed in an accident just about two hours ago."

----------

John had locked the door to her quarters from the inside. He was sitting on the corner of her bed, staring into emptiness.

It was over. The search, the waiting, the hope. Everything was over, everything had ended in that office back on that planet when Arlon told them about the accident. He felt like he had ended himself.

According to Arlon, Elizabeth and the team had showed up on that planet just a few hours ago, they hadn't said what they wanted there, but they had been hungry, so one of the inhabitants of the town, the one who had found them near the gate, had invited them to his home. The man had obviously been some kind of scientist, and one of his experiments must have gone wrong somehow. There had been an explosion. It had destroyed the entire building and killed everyone inside. Apparently the man had been known for the various accidents his experiments caused from time to time, but none had ever been as bad.

John had insisted on seeing the site of the explosion. There was really nothing left. No one could have survived that.

He hadn't said a word on the way back to the gate and back in Atlantis he had headed straight for her quarters and locked the door behind him. His world had sunken into blackness. It felt like he had died inside. He was numb. He felt a growing emptiness around him, while his soul was writhing in pain.

Everything seemed to have slowed down. And as the realization that she was dead and would never come back gradually and ruthlessly sank in, he felt his heart break.

She was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

She woke with a start, for a moment unable to remember where she was. She felt cold and hungry and her back was aching. She realized she was lying on the ground in a small cell with no windows, her hands and feet tied, the bonds uncomfortably cutting into her skin. Not far from her she could make out the shapes of Major Lorne and his team, who all seemed to be asleep.

As her memory slowly returned she closed her eyes and wished to forget again. Maybe this was all just a bad dream. Maybe if she opened her eyes again she would be back on Atlantis in her own room, back with her people and her paper work. She had wanted to go off world more often. Had she known it was like this she would have stayed at her desk in her office, where it was warm and relatively safe. Where she was in control of things.

She knew they had to find a way out of this, they had to escape somehow. She just didn't know how. They had made one attempt to escape two days ago, and as a result they had been tied up and there were even more guards around. It seemed almost hopeless now.

But there was too much at stake here. This wasn't just about them. This was about the future of Atlantis, and what was even more, about the future of earth and their own galaxy.

The people they had negotiated with for food, the Aldalarians, had been friendly enough, and completely honorable and trustworthy. None of what had happened had been their fault. Elizabeth doubted they even knew what had happened.

There had been a spy among them. When they had returned to the gate to go back to Atlantis, they had walked straight into an ambush.

A trap set up by some wraith worshipers. Lorne and his men didn't stand a chance against them and had been overpowered in no time. They had been greatly outnumbered, plus they hadn't been prepared for any kind of attack. Nothing had given them any reason to suspect anything.

They had been captured and taken to the home world of these wraith worshipers, where they had been held hostage ever since. She had lost count of days, but she knew it had most probably been nearly three weeks now, maybe more.

From the little they had learned from their kidnappers, they had contacted their wraith queen, who was to arrive shortly.

Apparently those people had been instructed to look for them. To capture them. And the other day, one of the guards had finally let slip what this was really all about. Elizabeth had had suspected it already, but finally hearing it confirmed was a shock all them same.

They wanted the location of earth. They were going to get it out of them no matter what.

That was why they had to escape. She knew that none of them would ever willingly give anything away to the wraith, but who knew what methods they had of getting their information.

"Dr Weir" she heard Lorne's voice say and opened her eyes.

"What is it, Major?"

"I think someone's coming." he said and nodded in the direction of the door.

She listened. Yes, there were footsteps approaching. She heard several feet hurrying along the corridor outside towards the cell they were in.

And there was something else.

She strained her ears to make out the sounds she heard outside of the cell.

She held her breath. There were muffled cries, mixed with thudding sounds. Something was going on there!

The rest of the team was awake now, too, and they all exchanged looks of curiosity mingled with worry and fear. If someone out there was taking out the guards, and that was what it sounded like - could it be their own people? None of them really dared to hope for that. It could also be another group of worshipers, who wanted them for their own queen.

Suddenly the door burst open. Elizabeth had to cover her eyes for a moment as the bright daylight she hadn't seen in days fell on her face. She blinked carefully against the light, trying to make out the shape that was standing in the door frame.

There was something familiar about that shape, she thought... her eyes finally adjusted to the light and she stared at the person in the door frame with surprise, unable to speak for a few seconds.

"Ford?" she finally said.

He grinned at her broadly. "I heard you were in trouble. Thought we could help."

"How did you..." she began, but he cut her off.

"Not now. We have to get away from here first." he signaled them to follow him.

Major Lorne was immediately by Elizabeth's side to help her up. "Do you think we can trust him?" he asked.

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes." She knew that John would have trusted him, that's why she was willing to do the same. For a brief moment John's face appeared before her inner eye, nodding encouragingly, telling her to trust Ford, to try everything to get back home to Atlantis. And to him? She smiled, but pushed the image away all the same.

Sometimes during the days she had spent here he had appeared to her. Every time her hope of finding a way out had started to fade she had seen him, telling her not to give up. At first she had found it rather irritating, but after a while she had gotten used to it, and she couldn't deny that it had in fact really given her strength.

They followed Ford and his men outside, passing lots of unconscious guards on the way. They were heading straight for the mountains that were looming only a few miles from the complex in which they had been imprisoned.

Some of Ford's men seemed to know the area pretty well, they reached the mountains without being followed. When they came to a small cave on the foot of the mountains they rested, and Ford told them how he had found them.

The people on this planet did worship the wraith, but not all of them were happy with that. Those who weren't had somehow heard of him and what he could do with the power the enzyme gave him and had asked him to let them join him. They hoped that maybe through the power of the enzyme they would be able to free their planet.

They watched everything closely that was going on here, and when they had heard that people from Atlantis were being held hostage here, they had immediately informed Ford, who had rushed off to help them, and here they were.

Ford grinned broadly at Elizabeth. "We're gonna get you back to the gate safely. You will be back in Atlantis in less than a day."

Elizabeth smiled at him. "Thank you." she said "I don't suspect you'll think about coming with us, this time?" she asked carefully.

Ford's face turned expressionless. "No." he said and looked away. "Say hello to Sheppard from me, though." he got up and walked away. Elizabeth sighed. She would do that. John would be glad to hear that Ford was still alive and knowing him, he would be proud of him as well, for saving her and the team.

She was looking forward to going home. She missed her city. She missed ... the people in her city. All of them of course. She tried to pull her thoughts away from the one person she missed the most. She needed to stay focused right now. They weren't home yet.

----------

They had walked about five hours when they finally approached something like a small town.

"We need to be careful now." Ford warned them. "If someone sees us, we're in serious trouble. The gate is in that direction." he pointed to the left "We'll make sure it's safe for you. When I give you the sign, go. You will need to be quick. If something goes wrong, just stick to the plan." with that he silently disappeared between a group of trees.

They waited for almost twenty minutes, hidden from view by trees and rocks, when finally Fords face appeared from behind a shrubbery some way of and he signaled them that all was clear. As planned, they jumped out of their hiding-place and sprinted towards the gate. It was still about a five minutes run from where they had been hiding.

Lorne arrived at the DHD first and began dialing. As soon as the gate established, he started sending his IDC, when suddenly some kind of energy blast, coming from behind them, hit the gate, which shut down immediately.

Lorne turned on his heels, got to his knees, shouted "Take cover" and reached for his weapon, all in one swift motion. Only, he had no weapon. None of them had. And Ford's men were scattered all over the area and greatly outnumbered. Apparently, the entire town was assembled now, ready to kill them rather than let them escape.

But Ford's men still had the advantage of the enzyme. And there was still plan B.

The man, Cadell, a scientist who Ford had introduced them to earlier was at their side immediately. "Hurry!" he shouted and ran off in the direction of the woods. They followed him as fast as they could, in a zigzag course across the open ground until they reached the cover of the trees. They ran on for some minutes until they came to the small cabin a little outside of the town. They could still hear the sounds of battle behind them.

"Are you sure this will work?" Lorne wanted to know.

Cadell nodded. "Don't worry. As long as you don't touch anything inside..."

Lorne rolled his eyes. Scientists. "I have a bad feeling about this!" he whispered to Dr Weir as they entered the little building. She shrugged, but looked worried all the same. "We don't have a choice."

The inside of the house was crammed full with all kinds of scientific equipment. One of the men nearly knocked over a glass with some funny looking bubbly substance inside.

"Careful!" Cadell barked at him "Almost anything here can blow up this entire place. So. Don't. Touch. Anything!"

"Sorry!" the man replied slightly offended "No need to bite my head off!"

Now it was Cadell's turn to roll his eyes. "Just do as I say and everything will be fine! And we need to work quickly, they will be here soon."

----------

They had surrounded the cabin. They knew the Atlanteans were inside. They weren't sure yet how they had managed to escape, but soon that wouldn't matter anymore. They would capture them again. And make sure they couldn't escape this time.

They approached the cabin from all sides, making sure there was no way those people could get away. Suddenly there was a deafening bang and those of them who had been closest to the building were lifted off their feet and flung through the air backwards. When they looked again, the cabin was gone and all that remained was a black crater where the building once had been. There was smoke and dust in the air and in one corner a blackened part of what once had been a wall was sticking out of the ground.

The cabin had been destroyed.

Arlon, their leader, stepped out of a group of people who had observed from the background, a triumphant smile on his lips, his eyes cold and cruel.

"I always told Cadell he would blow himself up one day with those experiments of his. Seems like that day was today." He looked around "Well, at least the Atlanteans won't be returning home. That is at least some comfort to us!"

And with a last look at the explosion site, he turned and made his way back to his town.


	5. Chapter 5

John Sheppard walked the corridors of Atlantis, barely noticing the world around him. There were things that needed to be done. Things someone had to take care of. The city still needed to be run by someone, even if the person who had been in charge for so long, the person they had all relied on, the person they had trusted with their lives and had given their lives for if necessary was never to return.

It took him all the strength that was still left in him now to keep going, to keep functioning. The only reasons he could do this were, first, because someone had to, and he was in charge until a new leader was assigned to them, and second, because he knew that was what she would have wanted him to do. She wouldn't have wanted him to bury himself in his quarters, drowning in his grief. So he forced himself to do what was necessary, to run the city, even to pass out words of comfort to others who were struck by her death.

He kept going. Like he had all this time. Like he had the last four days, since they had learned of her death. For everyone who needed him now. Yet it was nothing but a facade. He had died inside. He was empty. All he could feel was numbness, emptiness, and in the silent hours of the night, when he was lying in his bed, unable to find sleep, pain and despair. And regret. Regret for everything he hadn't said while he still could. Now it was too late. He would never get another chance to tell her how he felt.

They had made contact with the Aldalarians again, telling them they wanted to examine the explosion site and try to find something they could bury. The Aldalarians had made no objections to this and he had sent a team. He couldn't muster the strength to go himself. He had seen the place where she had died once, he didn't need to see it again.

The team had been there three days now. The place was quite a mess. There wasn't much to be found. They had confirmed that there had been six people in the building when it exploded, but there really wasn't much left of their bodies. Not even enough to identify them. There was hardly enough left to run a proper DNA test. They would probably end up burying empty coffins. Still they remained on the planet as long the Aldalarians let them stay, at least hoping to be able to find out what exactly had happened here. It wouldn't bring their friends back, but at least they would know how they had died.

John walked into the control room, silently greeting Rodney, who was working on some controls, with a nod of his head. The scientist also looked like he hadn't slept in days and he had been rather quiet lately, which was unusual for him. The team on Aldalaria was due to contact them over the radio in a few minutes, telling them about their progress. They dialed in every five hours to tell them how things were going at the explosion site. John always dreaded those moments. He didn't want the constant reminder of what had happened four days ago.

When the gate started to activate he closed his eyes for a moment, gathering all his strength, preparing to hear more about how their body parts were scattered all over the area, how they couldn't determine who was who. The first day, they had found a slight trace of hope. A hatch in the ground, leading to an underground tunnel that led straight to the mountains. But it had been a brief flare of hope. The hatch had been locked from outside. No one had escaped that way. And they had found six bodies. The Aldalarian scientist and Dr Weir and Lorne's team.

The gate activated and he heard Bates' voice over the radio. "Colonel, we can stop the examination of the place. We're ready to return to the city."

John frowned. "Did something happen over there, Sergeant?"

"Something." Bates confirmed. "You'll see in a minute."

"Okay, come through." John exchanged a confused glance with Rodney and made his way down the stairs to the gate to meet Bates and the rest of the team.

One of the men just stepped out of the gate by the time he reached the bottom of the stairs. A second followed.

And then ... John stood rooted to the spot suddenly, while he stared open mouthed at the third person who had stepped out of the event horizon. "Lorne?" he asked disbelieving.

The Major nodded and grinned at him broadly.

Someone else stepped out of the gate. John felt his heart stop for a moment, while his whole world narrowed down to the sight of this one person, that face he thought he would never in his life see again.

He slowly walked up to her, not quite believing what he saw. "Elizabeth?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

She smiled at him, raising one eyebrow. "I guess we're late, this time."

He stood right in front of her, staring at her, unable to say anything, trying to convince himself that this wasn't a dream, that she was really here.

"You're not dead?" he finally managed to ask.

She shook her head. "It was close, but an old friend was there to help us. This will probably be a long debriefing."

He smiled back at her. Then, suddenly, he pulled her into his arms, holding her as tight as possible, and not caring who was watching, buried his face in her hair.

He had her back.

----------

"Well, considering what you've been through, you're in perfect health." Carson said, smiling at Elizabeth.

"Good." She got up and headed for the door.

"Hey. Where do you think you're going?" He asked, blocking her way.

"Um ... my office?" she answered "Didn't you just say I was okay?"

Carson sighed "Aye, for someone who has been held hostage for weeks and was thought to be dead, you are. You're still staying in the infirmary for at least one night!"

"But I feel fine!" Elizabeth objected.

"Hey." John entered the infirmary, smiling at Elizabeth. "Is there a problem?" the question was directed at Carson.

Carson saw how Elizabeth's face lighted up as her eyes fell on John. And he had seen what Sheppard was like the time she had been missing. He figured these two had probably a lot to talk about.

He turned to look at the Colonel. "Maybe you can explain to her that she needs to spend at least this one night here in the infirmary. I'm going to check on my other patients." he said and with a smile he walked off in the direction of Lorne and the rest of the team.

John and Elizabeth smiled at each other awkwardly.

"So, how're you feeling?" he finally asked.

She smiled. "A little tired, but otherwise fine."

She sat down on the infirmary bed. "How are things here? Did anything happen while I was gone?"

He walked up to her and sat down beside her. "Not much. We spent most of the time searching for you." He paused a moment before saying in a low voice "I thought you were dead."

She met his eyes and in them she saw all he had been through during the last weeks, all the sorrow and despair he had felt. And she saw something else there. Something she had never even dared to hope for.

She looked down at her hands. "Ford says hello." she said, smiling. "He was the one who helped us escape."

"He did?" she heard the excitement in his voice "How? What happened anyway? We saw the destroyed building, everyone said you had been inside, there was a hatch, but it was locked from the outside..." he saw the fatigue in her face and added "If you're too tired to talk now, I'll let you sleep. You've been through a lot and I don't wanna keep you from sleeping with my questions..."

He jumped off the bed, ready to leave, but she took his hand and looked at him, a soft smile on her lips. "No." she said. "Stay. I'm not that tired."

He nodded. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave her side ever again. He wanted to be close to her, see her. He needed to know she was really here.

He sat down again and she began to tell him the whole story of what had happened to them, how they had been ambushed and been taken to the Aldalarian home world, where they had spent all those weeks in a dark small cell, waiting for the wraith to show up.

She told him about how Ford had shown up and helped them escape, and she grinned as she saw how that part of the story brought a small smile to his face.

At last she came to the part where they had tried to get back home and the Aldalarians had suddenly shown up, shutting the gate down, forcing them to carry out plan B.

"You found that hatch, didn't you?" she asked, and as he nodded continued "Cadell, the scientist who owned that cabin, was known for his dangerous experiments. Everyone suspected he would one day blow up his place. That was what we counted on. It was supposed to look like an accident. Like someone had knocked something over which blew the place up."

"It was quite convincing!" he assured her "We certainly thought you were dead. So how did you make it out?"

She smiled. "The hatch. The underground tunnel."

He looked at her, confused. "It was locked."

She nodded, her face turning sad for a moment. "Cadell locked it after we were through. He stayed behind. He sacrificed himself to save us."

He took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. "I wish I could thank him for doing that." he whispered.

They were silent for a moment. "The bodies." he finally said "They found six bodies."

"One was Cadell's, of course." she said "The others were the bodies of five people from a distant village who had died in a fight against the wraith worshipers a few days ago. They belonged to the resistance as well." She looked up at him. "We promised Cadell we would do what we can to support them. To help them. We thought that was the least we could do. One day, when they are in trouble, they may contact us and ask for support."

He smiled at her. "They saved your life. I will do anything to support them."

She gently squeezed his hand, smiling back at him, when Carson returned.

"You seriously need to get some rest, love." he addressed Elizabeth. "Don't make me sedate you." The return of the missing had obviously put him in a very good mood, as it had the rest of the city.

Elizabeth sighed. "Okay then, I have to admit, I feel like I could need some sleep."

Carson smiled at her. "One good night's sleep and tomorrow you can return to your quarters." He looked at John "By the way, you should also get some sleep. You need it."

"Alright." John jumped off the bed, turning back to Elizabeth. Carson left to let them say goodnight in private.

Elizabeth lay down on the infirmary bed, feeling suddenly very exhausted. She hadn't really slept in days. She was just so happy to be back that she found it hard to calm down enough to focus on sleeping. Besides, she hadn't want John to leave. It felt so good being near him again.

Now he stood beside her bed, smiling down on her, his hand gently brushing away a strand of hair from her face.

"Good night, 'Lizabeth." he whispered.

"Good night, John." she answered and closed her eyes as he bent down to place a light kiss on her forehead. When she opened her eyes after a while he was gone. But when she slowly drifted off to sleep she still saw his face smiling at her and she could still feel the soft touch of his lips.

----------

When he walked into the infirmary the next day, Carson had already released her.

"She wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible." he informed John "She barely gave me time to check her over again. If you see her, tell her she isn't supposed to be working again for at least two weeks."

John grinned broadly. "Tell her yourself. Never heard of that whole killing the messenger thing?"

He turned around and headed down the hallway. He already had a pretty good idea where he might find Elizabeth.

----------

She heard the doors of the balcony slide open and instantly knew who it was.

He stepped up to her, placing his hands on the railing. "Good morning." he said.

"Morning, John." she answered. She had hoped he would join her here. Like he had so often before. She had missed this place. She had missed being here with him.

He looked at her, standing here on their balcony, arms folded, the wind playing with her hair. She was so beautiful. And their was so much he needed to tell her. He had thought she was dead. He had thought he had lost her. That he would never see her again. And now she was back. He had got a second chance. He wasn't gonna waste it.

"I missed you." he said.

She turned around to him. "I missed you two." She was smiling. God, he had missed this smile, this smile of hers that lit up her entire face and made his heart skip a few beats.

"I will never again let you go off world without me!" he declared, taking his hands off the railing and also turning around to her.

"You couldn't have done anything." she stated.

"Not my point." he said.

She simply raised an eyebrow. "So what is your point?"

He looked right into her eyes, a serious expression on his face. "Had I been there, I would at least have known you were okay. I would have been with you. Being here, not able to do anything, not knowing if I would ever see you again..." he moved closer to her, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. "I thought I'd lost you!" he whispered.

She moved one step closer to him, so that their bodies were almost touching. She saw the love in his eyes and a wave of emotion rushed through her. "There were times while I was back there in that cell, when I also thought I'd never see you again." she told him. She remembered how she had seen his face back then, heard his voice telling her to be strong, how the thought of him had kept her going. One day she would tell him about it.

But now she closed her eyes, as he brought his face close to hers, his arms sliding around her back, pulling her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his lips softly brushed against hers. The kiss was slow and full of tenderness, a careful first exploring of feelings that for so long had been hidden beneath the surface.

They finally had to breathe, but they kept their arms firmly wrapped around each other, neither of them wanting to let go ever again.

At last he brought one hand up and softly caressed her face. Their eyes met.

"I love you, Elizabeth." he whispered.

"I love you, too, John." she whispered back.

Their lips met again, more passionately this time. They both knew their lives were going to be a lot more complicated from now on, but they also knew that this was the beginning of something wonderful.


End file.
